7/29/18 The Enemy

July 29th, 2018

Have you ever felt as if the enemy just won’t give up? Do you often think when is this storm ever going to pass? When will all these things being thrown at me ever end?

This past weekend we decided to attend a couples retreat for bereaved parents. We never ever thought we would be attending one of these. We were apprehensive and extremely nervous. We had no idea what to expect. All I knew was that God wanted us to attend.

If you don’t know my father-in-law lived with us. He was 84 years old and was starting to need more and more care. So in order for us to attend this retreat we decided we needed to find someone or somewhere for him to go while we were gone. Well come to find out people can go to hospice at no charge for up to five days. We were so thankful to have found this, that weight of having to worry about him at home was lifted.

So Friday evening off to our retreat we go. It was about a four hour drive from our home. When we arrived we walk into this triple wide trailer that is set up with 6 bedrooms and a living space and kitchen. About half of the couples that were coming were there plus the facilitators. Like I said before we had no idea what to expect, but these people were the nicest most caring people I’ve met. We all just had a connection because we all shared the loss of a child. It felt as if we could all be ourselves, we didn’t have to fake a smile and pretend that we were okay. We all had the same broken heart. We totally understood each other. Each of us were at different stages of our grief but this was such a blessing because we were able to help and talk to each other about it. We could ask each other questions without being judged.

I can’t fully explain how amazing this retreat ended up being. The Lord one hundred percent knew what He was doing. The presence of the Holy Spirit in that room this weekend was absolutely amazing. On Sunday when we were all getting ready to leave we sat and talked about how it will be so amazing to see how this ministry is going to grow in the PNW. And how much we want God to use us to be able to minister to other grieving parents. If you have experienced the loss of a child and have never attended something like this, I highly recommend doing it.

The facility that this camp is at is in the middle of no where. So that means no cell phone service for an entire weekend. I was pretty excited! It took about a half an hour to get back into service on our way out. Almost immediately our phones start going off. My husband then gets a call from his sister telling him that his dad took a turn for the worse. So we pick up the speed a little to get home a bit sooner. Not a half hour later she calls and said he passed away.

I was just amazed at how quickly the enemy attacked us. All I could do was shake my head and say “are you kidding me? Not even an hour after this amazing weekend you are going to attack us”. We go to a place to help us with the grief of losing our child and the minute we are done this is thrown our way. For real? Does it ever end? For the past two years we have lost someone close to us every 8 months. First my mother-in-law, then my grandpa, then our daughter and now my father-in-law. Seriously!! I am so frustrated. I just don’t understand why this keeps happening to us. I know that I know that God has a plan but man this is hard. How many more funerals are we going to have to plan? God when is this going to be over? I know our grief will never end but will we ever get a break without having to add more to it? Not only are we still fresh from losing our daughter now we have to add this to it.

I know that we will make it through once again, but man it is getting real hard to see the light at the end. We will continue to praise our God in the middle of this crazy crazy storm. We may not be able to see but 6” in front of us but this is just another piece of our story.